i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
