her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
bring money and cleavage
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
