I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Randomize
