ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
Randomize
