you mean i was at the winter classic?
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
