we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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