How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
