I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
cat food counts as protein by the way
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
