i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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