when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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