Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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