I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
