Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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