I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
