We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
