my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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