so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
