dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
Randomize
