haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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