and next time when you feel me up, do it right
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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