lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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