Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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