if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
