My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
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