Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
