Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
