Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Church boner. Awkwardddd
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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