is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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