He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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