Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
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