I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
