Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
