Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
