We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
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