Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
