Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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