i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Randomize
