Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize
