like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
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