She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
