How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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