I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
