I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
