Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
