sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
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