fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
