I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
