I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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