Already got asked if we're dating
You just made me feel so damn special
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
