Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
