he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
