this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Randomize
